Mile 1: I'm leaving these suckers behind. Just because the four of us are the ones who barely trained at all doesn't mean I need to keep pace with these slowpokes...I'm running with the fast people.Mile 2: Right...um, I can't really keep up with the fast people. Also, bathroom break with a LONG porta-potty line. I knew there was a reason I shouldn't have had that big cup of coffee this morning.
Mile 3: It's Joanne! She's faster than the other slowpokes with her steady 1 minute walking, 1 minute running pace but I'm faster. We run together for about 10 minutes before I'm bored and taking off. "Don't wait for me!" she says. Later, Joanne!
Mile 4 -> 8 or so: This is fun! I am keeping pace with the dudes with backpacks and the lady with "survivor" written on her back and the eight year old with her dad. As long as we're all roughly at the same pace, I feel like I'm running at a good rate. My goal is to reach the finish line under 3 hours (which is a very long time) and I'm starting to think I could make it in less than 2 1/2! I also have stuff like this to entertain me:
- The dude lounging in a lawn chair (I think he may have even been in a bathrobe), with an old school boombox beside him blaring the "Rocky" theme song with his fists silently raised and a big grin on his face.
- All the cute kids holding signs like "You go Daddy!" "My Mom is the Best!", or chanting "Let's go runners, let's go!" and clapping, or best of all, the four year old and his dad with a tray of homemade oatmeal cookies cut into quarters, offering "cookies and high fives!"
- The weird "shouldn't you be at Lovefest right now?" sighting, an older woman in a skimpy costume listening to techno and hulu hooping by the side of the road.
- Maybe seven or eight live bands along the route, mostly singing cover songs. No matter how tired you are, you're going to cheer and sing along to "99 Red Balloons." I loved the one guy in the soul band who shouted "lookin' good...there's donuts and beer at the finish line folks!"
Mile 9 - My knees are KILLING me! I didn't realize that when they talk about endurance, it's not about physical exhaustion...it's about your lower body starting to give out on you. My lungs and brains are all "let's go faster! faster!" but if my legs - really, just my knees - could swing up and kick me in the face to make me stop, they totally would.
Mile 10 - I slow to a walk, stumble on unresponsive legs, and mutter expletives to myself. A nearby policeman on a motorcycle says soothingly "it's okay! you can take a break!" I respond, I kid you not, choking back tears, "it's...just...so...frustrating!" Apparently, by Mile 10 I am ten years old.
Mile 11 -> 12 -> dear God when does this end - my run is now the run of an eighty year old woman getting in her morning jog by the pool at the retirement community. It is a sad, slow, shuffle. First eight year old and her dad, then backpack dudes, then survivor lady leave me in the dust. People are actually walking faster than my run, but walking hurts more.
The cool part of the race though, is just when you start to let yourself get mired in self-pity, a stranger running beside you pats you on the back and says "you're almost there!" or a kid holds up a sign that says "Go Runners Go!" and high fives you. This must be part of why people do long distance runs - being cheered on by so many strangers.
Mile 13 - Someone shouts "just eight stoplights to go!" which, of course, makes me count stoplights and they're so freakin' far apart. Then someone shouts my name - it's Joanne! Her 1 minute run, 1 minute walk has left her cool, collected, and energized for a sprint to the finish line. "Don't wait for me!" I say, and off she goes. Just before the finish line, Coach Robert materializes from thin air (where did he COME from?) and starts jogging along beside me shouting encouragements, and I make it across - in two hours and forty-two minutes.
Thanks so much to everyone who made a contribution to Big Brothers Big Sisters - sure, the strangers cheering me on were great, but even better was the fact that I reached my fundraising goal before I even set foot in San Jose. BBBSBA has raised over $20K from half-marathon participants to support one-to-one mentoring throughout the Bay Area. Seriously, everyone here says thanks for your support.
Will I run another one? Immediately post-race, ice taped to my knees, salt caked on my face, cold beer in my hand, the answer was a definitive "no." But now...maybe! Will you join me?
